I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
