also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
