CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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