he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So apparently I’m into choking now
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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