Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My hand turned me down
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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