Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
