Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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