Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
