It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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