So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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