i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i think my cat just said my name.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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