this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
