Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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