I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
