i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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