There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize