he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
