she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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