they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
