You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
