I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The uberlube is also flammable
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
