i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
