Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize