You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
