It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
