I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
