drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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