Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
