you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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