Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
