Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
