wrigley field is MILF paradise
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My vagina is very pro this idea
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