I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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