Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
