Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Nicole vs. Life
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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