It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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