That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
