you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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