found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
