i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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