it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
