i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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