ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
NoShamevember. You game?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
