Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
