In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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