My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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