My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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