So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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