I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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