david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
pray to the hookup gods
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
