My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
