I wish you could order shots online.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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