you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
