I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
