What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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