I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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