Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
