i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
