I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
