As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
