Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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