Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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