i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
