How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
