Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How does one acquire holy water?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
