It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
